(Here comes the music again...) Once I was afraid, I was petrified... How fitting! If you read the previous post, you know about my class reunion that was tonight, and it was better than I had hoped! Thank you so much for your thoughts & prayers! There's no doubt in my mind that they played a large role in tonight's success. Every time I went out to my car, to get a drink, to use the bathroom (basically anytime I wasn't with the group), I would pray & thank God for how the evening was going.
The turnout wasn't as good as they had hoped...only 20-25 graduates showed up, but by the end of the evening every single girl, and even some of the guys, approached me to tell me how great I looked. Several even mentioned that they didn't recognize me. They said they couldn't get over how great I looked and how well my life was going. While we were talking, several of them also mentioned how much they liked me in high school...they said I was always so nice to everyone. That surprised me considering how I was treated, but as I thought about it I realized that some of them didn't actually do the taunting. It was more of a guilt by association...they were there when it happened but never did anything to stop it.
But...I was able to be me, and I left tonight glad that I'd went. Thanks again to those of you who prayed for me! You're all great!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
Emotional Evening
What a night! It all started earlier this evening while I was at the chiropractor's office and then ended with me having a bit of a meltdown. But...thankfully Traci & I had planned to have supper together, and she listened to me after my meltdown and offered words of advice/encouragement. I'm better now! :-) But...it was a night!Here's the story...
When Matt & I began dating, I downloaded the song "You Had Me From Hello" for his ringer. Their home phone number was unlisted so it would only ring "his tone" when he called from his cell phone or from work. He was the only restricted number that called me, so in an attempt to be cute (and to hear "his song" more often), I set my ringer for restricted calls to "his song". Well...with that being said...as I was at the chiropractor's today, "his song" started playing. I haven't heard it since the day he called to break up with me, and I was not prepared for what it did to me.
No...Matt did not call! It was someone who used to attend our church that happened to be calling from a restricted number. You guessed it...when Matt & I broke up, I went into my phone & set his ringer to the default song (which happens to be the OSU fight song). I even deleted his speed dial info, but I never changed my restricted call ringer. And, boy, did that ever shake me up!
On top of that, I also have been a bit emotional about my high school reunion that's tomorrow night. It's been 15 years since I've graduated, but the memories still haunt me at times. I went to a very small high school (I believe my graduating class was 88 people) so everyone knew everyone. This was either really good or really bad. In my case, it was really bad. I have some very good high school memories, but most of those include people who were either older or younger than me.
I was really only close with a couple of people in my class. The majority of my classmates teased & taunted me about being overweight & so tall. My fellow classmates would take bets on how long it would take me to eat my lunch and would then sit at the end of my table making rude comments. These same people would act as though the ground was shaking when I walked by or when we played a game in gym that required me to run. They would also get guys to pretend they liked me, and then make a big joke of it. It seemed as though they were always making fun of me...no matter what I did. I really hated high school!
Looking back I realize that they continued to tease & taunt me because I allowed them to walk all over me. I never once stood up for myself! But...back then I had no self-confidence and really didn't like myself. I also didn't have the courage to stand up to them.
As I think about tomorrow's reunion, I'm reminded of the memories and am very nervous about seeing these people for the first time since high school, but I also know this is something I need to do. I feel like I need to go to show them and myself who I've become. Today I'm a better person, and I like who I've become. I think I've accomplished a lot, and I have a lot to offer to other people if they'll accept me for who I am. I am courageous, beautiful, adventurous, and just an all around fun girl.
So...I guess that sums up my emotional evening. I just finished talking with my friend, Ralph. With his & Traci's advice and words of encouragement, I'm feeling a little better, but if you read this before Saturday evening, I would really appreciate your prayers. My hope is that I can go to the reunion and be myself...whether they like me or not. I am who I am because God made me this way. And...I'm okay with that! Thanks for listening!
When Matt & I began dating, I downloaded the song "You Had Me From Hello" for his ringer. Their home phone number was unlisted so it would only ring "his tone" when he called from his cell phone or from work. He was the only restricted number that called me, so in an attempt to be cute (and to hear "his song" more often), I set my ringer for restricted calls to "his song". Well...with that being said...as I was at the chiropractor's today, "his song" started playing. I haven't heard it since the day he called to break up with me, and I was not prepared for what it did to me.
No...Matt did not call! It was someone who used to attend our church that happened to be calling from a restricted number. You guessed it...when Matt & I broke up, I went into my phone & set his ringer to the default song (which happens to be the OSU fight song). I even deleted his speed dial info, but I never changed my restricted call ringer. And, boy, did that ever shake me up!
On top of that, I also have been a bit emotional about my high school reunion that's tomorrow night. It's been 15 years since I've graduated, but the memories still haunt me at times. I went to a very small high school (I believe my graduating class was 88 people) so everyone knew everyone. This was either really good or really bad. In my case, it was really bad. I have some very good high school memories, but most of those include people who were either older or younger than me.
I was really only close with a couple of people in my class. The majority of my classmates teased & taunted me about being overweight & so tall. My fellow classmates would take bets on how long it would take me to eat my lunch and would then sit at the end of my table making rude comments. These same people would act as though the ground was shaking when I walked by or when we played a game in gym that required me to run. They would also get guys to pretend they liked me, and then make a big joke of it. It seemed as though they were always making fun of me...no matter what I did. I really hated high school!
Looking back I realize that they continued to tease & taunt me because I allowed them to walk all over me. I never once stood up for myself! But...back then I had no self-confidence and really didn't like myself. I also didn't have the courage to stand up to them.
As I think about tomorrow's reunion, I'm reminded of the memories and am very nervous about seeing these people for the first time since high school, but I also know this is something I need to do. I feel like I need to go to show them and myself who I've become. Today I'm a better person, and I like who I've become. I think I've accomplished a lot, and I have a lot to offer to other people if they'll accept me for who I am. I am courageous, beautiful, adventurous, and just an all around fun girl.
So...I guess that sums up my emotional evening. I just finished talking with my friend, Ralph. With his & Traci's advice and words of encouragement, I'm feeling a little better, but if you read this before Saturday evening, I would really appreciate your prayers. My hope is that I can go to the reunion and be myself...whether they like me or not. I am who I am because God made me this way. And...I'm okay with that! Thanks for listening!
Another E-mail
This message was sent to me by my sister, Marsha. Yet another good thought! Enjoy!
As you grow up, you learn that even the one person you thought wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. Live simply… Love generously…Care deeply… Speak kindly…Leave the rest to God.
As you grow up, you learn that even the one person you thought wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. Live simply… Love generously…Care deeply… Speak kindly…Leave the rest to God.
An E-mail from Mom
My mom sent this to me last week, and I thought it was worth sharing. Hope it touches you as much as it touched me (although it may have touched me more with all that's been going on).
Here it is:
We need to learn to thank the Lord for closed doors just as much as we do for open doors. The reason God closes doors is because He has not prepared anything over there for us. If he didn't close the wrong door we would never find our way to the right door. Even when we don't realize it, God directs our paths through the closing and opening of doors.
When one door closes, it forces us to change our course. Another door closes; it forces us to change our course yet again. Then finally, we find the open door and walk right into our blessing.
But instead of praising God for the closed door (which kept us out of trouble), we get upset because we "judge by appearances." And in our own arrogance, or ignorance, we insist that we know what is right. We have a very pleasant help in the time of need who is always standing guard. Because He walks ahead of us, He can see trouble down the road and HE sets up road blocks and detours accordingly.
But through our lack of wisdom we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour signs. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying "Lord how could this happen to me?" We have got to realize that the closed door was a blessing. Didn't He say that "No good thing will be withheld from them that love Him?" If you get terminated from your job - don't be down, instead thank God for the new opportunities that will manifest themselves - it might be a better job, or an opportunity to go to school. If that man or woman won't return your call - it might not be them, it might be the Lord setting up a roadblock (just let it go).
I'm so grateful, for the many times God has closed doors to me, just to open them in the most unexpected places. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way." (Psalms 37:23) The Mountain top is glorious, but it is in the Valley that I will grow!
Here it is:
We need to learn to thank the Lord for closed doors just as much as we do for open doors. The reason God closes doors is because He has not prepared anything over there for us. If he didn't close the wrong door we would never find our way to the right door. Even when we don't realize it, God directs our paths through the closing and opening of doors.
When one door closes, it forces us to change our course. Another door closes; it forces us to change our course yet again. Then finally, we find the open door and walk right into our blessing.
But instead of praising God for the closed door (which kept us out of trouble), we get upset because we "judge by appearances." And in our own arrogance, or ignorance, we insist that we know what is right. We have a very pleasant help in the time of need who is always standing guard. Because He walks ahead of us, He can see trouble down the road and HE sets up road blocks and detours accordingly.
But through our lack of wisdom we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour signs. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying "Lord how could this happen to me?" We have got to realize that the closed door was a blessing. Didn't He say that "No good thing will be withheld from them that love Him?" If you get terminated from your job - don't be down, instead thank God for the new opportunities that will manifest themselves - it might be a better job, or an opportunity to go to school. If that man or woman won't return your call - it might not be them, it might be the Lord setting up a roadblock (just let it go).
I'm so grateful, for the many times God has closed doors to me, just to open them in the most unexpected places. "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way." (Psalms 37:23) The Mountain top is glorious, but it is in the Valley that I will grow!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Our Annual Fishing Trip
My friend, Val, from Sidney & I have been going up to Lake Erie the past three years to spend a few days together, soak up some rays, & catch some perch. I always look forward to this mini vacation and know that we'll have a great time. This year was no exception. D (my nickname for her son, Devan) came along with us for the 2nd year in a row, and when he became bored with fishing...he took on the role of "bait boy". He had a ball playing in the minnows! :-)
The pictures above are as follows...1) Val & Me 2) D's big catch (he caught the first fish of the day, but it was a white bass so we threw it back in) & last but not least...3) one of the perch I caught (but...not the big one).
Now...I need to explain something at this point. I tend to be a "little" competitive, but the term "little" comes no where close to describing Val's competitive edge! I talked a little smack before we dropped our hooks into the water, and when all was said and done, Val did catch more fish than me but...I caught the biggest one! (Not that anyone was keeping track.) :-)
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Surveys
OK...I know you're out there! Several of you comment about reading my blog so I thought we'd have a little fun. I have added a survey to my blog (it's located under my profile). I will change it every couple of weeks so be sure to check it out, cast your vote, and check back to see what others say.
Happy voting!
Happy voting!
An Unexpected Compliment
This weekend I had someone tell me how pretty I was. He also said that I had a beautiful smile. Now...that was great...it's always nice to get compliments, but when I do get compliments they're usually on my smile. But...what made it really special to me was what he went on to say. He told me that although my smile was beautiful, he thought the best part about me was the way I carried myself. He said I was a really neat girl.
This man had no idea how much I needed those words of encouragement...it was a much needed shot in the arm. While I've really struggled with my self-image in past, I've grown to like who I am and have become more self-confident over the past year or two. But...the recent events have found me second guessing myself at times. When I realize I'm doing it, I try to instantly stop because I don't want to go back to who I used to be. God used this man...someone who had just met me for the first time...to show me how special I still am. It was a "God sighting" for me, and I'm very thankful it happened!
This man had no idea how much I needed those words of encouragement...it was a much needed shot in the arm. While I've really struggled with my self-image in past, I've grown to like who I am and have become more self-confident over the past year or two. But...the recent events have found me second guessing myself at times. When I realize I'm doing it, I try to instantly stop because I don't want to go back to who I used to be. God used this man...someone who had just met me for the first time...to show me how special I still am. It was a "God sighting" for me, and I'm very thankful it happened!
My Weekend - Part 3
The drag races got done around midnight (there was also an awesome fireworks display), and by the time I got back to my vehicle & out of the parking lot, it was nearly 1 a.m. when I finally got on the road. The bad thing was that I had a 2 hour drive to get to the hotel where we were staying for today's concerts. So...I crawled into bed at 3:02 a.m., and my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. It was a very short night!
Today found us giving to performances at the Nazarene Church in Mt. Sterling (south of Columbus & Grove City). It was a special concert for the Jordans because the pastor there, Pastor Reynolds, used to pastor at ONC (our home church). Both concerts went well, and the people seemed to enjoy our music.
The best part was that God was present & moved throughout the service (especially in the first service). It's such an awesome & humbling experience to be a part of that! I'm so thankful I've had this opportunity to use the gifts He's given me.
Today found us giving to performances at the Nazarene Church in Mt. Sterling (south of Columbus & Grove City). It was a special concert for the Jordans because the pastor there, Pastor Reynolds, used to pastor at ONC (our home church). Both concerts went well, and the people seemed to enjoy our music.
The best part was that God was present & moved throughout the service (especially in the first service). It's such an awesome & humbling experience to be a part of that! I'm so thankful I've had this opportunity to use the gifts He's given me.
My Weekend - Part 2
After Saturday's concert, we drove to Wapakoneta to have lunch, and then we headed our separate ways. Jordans took off for Mt. Sterling (concert #3 & 4 for the weekend...you'll read about that in Part 3), and I waited for the Ike clan to meet me in Bob Evan's parking lot.
Don & Sharon had called me in June to see if I'd like to go to the drag races in Norwalk with them. Now...many of you are probably surprised by this, but I really enjoy them. It never seemed like a big deal to me, but as people found out I was planning on going I realized it shocked many people. My first time going with them was two years ago, and I loved it, and last night was no exception. I am a woman who can enjoy most anything...from getting dressed up & going to the symphony or theater...to playing a good game of softball...to going to the drag races...there's not much I don't enjoy. Maybe it has something to do with growing up in a small town? I've always been a bit of a country girl, but then there's also a bit of the "girly girl" in me as well. I say you can dress me up & take me out, but you'll never take the "hick" out of me! :-)
So...back to the drag races. Last night was the 30th Anniversary Night Under Fire in Norwalk. The two pictures were taken there. The first one is of Sharon & me, and the second one is of the semi that raced last night. It was propelled by 3 (yes...3) jet engines. It was amazing!
My Weekend - Part 1
Friday afternoon I drove down to St. Mary's, Ohio where I met the Jordan family (Katie, Jeff, Pam & Tim) for our first of four concerts this weekend. Our church district was having camp meeting this past week at the district, and we were the special music.
At Friday evening's service, we performed three songs for the pre-service music, helped with the praise & worship package, and then sang three songs before the message. After the concert, several of us (Katie's aunt, cousin & a friend came down & Thom, our music minister, was there as well) went to get a bite to eat at CJ Highmarks, and then it was back to the hotel to sleep.
We also sang at the Saturday morning service. We did a very similar format to Friday evening, but we used different songs (just in case you couldn't figure that one out on your own).
A highlight of being at campmeeting was that I got to see Pastor Lloyd & Maxine McClurg. Pastor Lloyd was the associate pastor while I was at Sidney (they are also the parents of Mike, who happened to be my pastor at Sidney). They are such a dear couple, and it was great to see them and talk for a bit.
This was a good opportunity for us because there were several pastors & district leaders there...it was basically free advertisement (the best kind). The evangelists also mentioned that they had people they were going to talk to. This could be the beginning of something great!
At Friday evening's service, we performed three songs for the pre-service music, helped with the praise & worship package, and then sang three songs before the message. After the concert, several of us (Katie's aunt, cousin & a friend came down & Thom, our music minister, was there as well) went to get a bite to eat at CJ Highmarks, and then it was back to the hotel to sleep.
We also sang at the Saturday morning service. We did a very similar format to Friday evening, but we used different songs (just in case you couldn't figure that one out on your own).
A highlight of being at campmeeting was that I got to see Pastor Lloyd & Maxine McClurg. Pastor Lloyd was the associate pastor while I was at Sidney (they are also the parents of Mike, who happened to be my pastor at Sidney). They are such a dear couple, and it was great to see them and talk for a bit.
This was a good opportunity for us because there were several pastors & district leaders there...it was basically free advertisement (the best kind). The evangelists also mentioned that they had people they were going to talk to. This could be the beginning of something great!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
