I had trouble getting to sleep last night, but once I fell asleep (I totally crashed on the couch & didn't wake up until 5:30 a.m.), I slept really well. When I woke up, I was angry which totally fueled my workout at the gym. Yesterday I jogged for 30 minutes. During that time, I went 3.75 miles & burned off 401 calories. Today...I jogged for 30 minutes and went 4.6 miles & burned 535 calories. It felt good to release some of the tension, and I felt much better when I left the gym.
Now, though, I'm just sitting here in a daze. It's still hard for me to think about Matt not being part of my life. I know some may find this crazy since we haven't dated that long, but in the 3 months that we've been together, I've experienced a love for him that I've never experienced before. He'd also talked to me about our wedding (we actually had our wedding party picked out & a few plans made) and about children (we had decided on an even number...I was leaning towards 2, but he was interested in possibly having 4). It's hard for me to comprehend how we go for those plans to him calling & telling me it's just not going to work out.
I find myself waiting for my phone to ring with his ringer (I had the song "You Had Me From Hello" set as his ringer)...or looking forward to seeing him (he was supposed to come over tonight)...the list goes on and on. One simple phone call has really changed my life!
I miss him!
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