To be very up front & frank...today has been a really hard day for me! It started out like any "normal" day. I got up & had breakfast, and then I went to the gym to work out. When I got home from the gym, I did a load of laundry & made lunch. After lunch was done, I started to do some dishes. And then...my cell phone rang.
When I looked to see who was calling, I was pleased to see it was Matt calling me from work. I answered & asked how his day was going. He told me it was going fine, and then he proceeded to tell me that he didn't think things were going to work out between us. Imagine my shock & surprise! I literally didn't do anything but continue to say "okay". I didn't know what to say! If I had made guesses as to what was coming out of his mouth, I would never have guessed those words.
He said that I've been a very good friend over the past few months (not what I wanted to hear...and if he does everything with his "friends" that he's done with me the past few months...I've really been missing out on my friendships with the opposite sex). He also said that I have some great qualities & would make someone a great wife, but he just didn't think I was the one for him.
The crazy thing for me is that we were just together last night. He was a bit quite so I even asked him if everything was alright. He said that it was, and so I asked specifically if everything was alright with us. He once again said that it was. We even made plans for us to spend the evening together on Thursday, and we talked about some future plans we've made (I had tickets for us to go see a Detroit Tigers game on the Sunday I get back from North Carolina, we bought tickets to go to the drag races with Don & Sharon - friends from Sidney, we made reservations for my 15 year class reunion, and we talked about a wedding we were going to go to on Sept. 1). Through this entire process, he never let on that anything was wrong. In fact, he told me twice that we were good! Just last week we talked about me going dancing with one of my male friends, and he wasn't thrilled about it so I didn't go. But...when he called today, he said he's been thinking about this for a while now.
So...why didn't he want me to go dancing with Don? Why did he make plans to go to the races with me? Why did he agree to go to my class reunion? Why did he make plans with me to go to the wedding? Why did he make plans to come to my house on Thursday? Why did he tell me two times that we were good? Why in the world did he kiss me last night?
There are so many thoughts going through my head! Now the tears have started to flow again so I'm going to go do dishes in hope that it'll get my mind off him.
I'd really appreciate your prayers! I'm going to cling to my verse, Jeremiah 29:11, knowing that He has a plan for me & that He doesn't intend for me to be hurt (although it's hard to think about now as I'm hurting so bad). But...I know that God is in control, and with Him (and the support of my family & friends), I'll make it through. This too shall pass!
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