While there are still times when I catch myself thinking about him, I'm on the mend & heading towards recovery. I know there will still be tough times...he really meant a lot to me (and we had already made several plans for the future), but I'm also resting in the fact that if it's not supposed to be Matt...God must have something really good in store for me! I continue to rest in my life verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Family & Friends
Putting the Christian aspect aside for a moment (because I know that God is always there for me), I just want to say how thankful I am for my family & friends. I don't know how I would have made it through the past two days without them! They have been there with listening ears, prayers, words of advice, and they've even offered to beat Matt up...maybe knock some sense into him (Traci thinks she could take him and my aunt offered to help out as well). :-) I really appreciate that they've been there for me through the good times and are now there for me during the tears & broken heart.
Thanks you guys!
Thanks you guys!
A Good Workout, but a Rough Afternoon
I had trouble getting to sleep last night, but once I fell asleep (I totally crashed on the couch & didn't wake up until 5:30 a.m.), I slept really well. When I woke up, I was angry which totally fueled my workout at the gym. Yesterday I jogged for 30 minutes. During that time, I went 3.75 miles & burned off 401 calories. Today...I jogged for 30 minutes and went 4.6 miles & burned 535 calories. It felt good to release some of the tension, and I felt much better when I left the gym.
Now, though, I'm just sitting here in a daze. It's still hard for me to think about Matt not being part of my life. I know some may find this crazy since we haven't dated that long, but in the 3 months that we've been together, I've experienced a love for him that I've never experienced before. He'd also talked to me about our wedding (we actually had our wedding party picked out & a few plans made) and about children (we had decided on an even number...I was leaning towards 2, but he was interested in possibly having 4). It's hard for me to comprehend how we go for those plans to him calling & telling me it's just not going to work out.
I find myself waiting for my phone to ring with his ringer (I had the song "You Had Me From Hello" set as his ringer)...or looking forward to seeing him (he was supposed to come over tonight)...the list goes on and on. One simple phone call has really changed my life!
I miss him!
Now, though, I'm just sitting here in a daze. It's still hard for me to think about Matt not being part of my life. I know some may find this crazy since we haven't dated that long, but in the 3 months that we've been together, I've experienced a love for him that I've never experienced before. He'd also talked to me about our wedding (we actually had our wedding party picked out & a few plans made) and about children (we had decided on an even number...I was leaning towards 2, but he was interested in possibly having 4). It's hard for me to comprehend how we go for those plans to him calling & telling me it's just not going to work out.
I find myself waiting for my phone to ring with his ringer (I had the song "You Had Me From Hello" set as his ringer)...or looking forward to seeing him (he was supposed to come over tonight)...the list goes on and on. One simple phone call has really changed my life!
I miss him!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
A Strange Turn of Events
To be very up front & frank...today has been a really hard day for me! It started out like any "normal" day. I got up & had breakfast, and then I went to the gym to work out. When I got home from the gym, I did a load of laundry & made lunch. After lunch was done, I started to do some dishes. And then...my cell phone rang.
When I looked to see who was calling, I was pleased to see it was Matt calling me from work. I answered & asked how his day was going. He told me it was going fine, and then he proceeded to tell me that he didn't think things were going to work out between us. Imagine my shock & surprise! I literally didn't do anything but continue to say "okay". I didn't know what to say! If I had made guesses as to what was coming out of his mouth, I would never have guessed those words.
He said that I've been a very good friend over the past few months (not what I wanted to hear...and if he does everything with his "friends" that he's done with me the past few months...I've really been missing out on my friendships with the opposite sex). He also said that I have some great qualities & would make someone a great wife, but he just didn't think I was the one for him.
The crazy thing for me is that we were just together last night. He was a bit quite so I even asked him if everything was alright. He said that it was, and so I asked specifically if everything was alright with us. He once again said that it was. We even made plans for us to spend the evening together on Thursday, and we talked about some future plans we've made (I had tickets for us to go see a Detroit Tigers game on the Sunday I get back from North Carolina, we bought tickets to go to the drag races with Don & Sharon - friends from Sidney, we made reservations for my 15 year class reunion, and we talked about a wedding we were going to go to on Sept. 1). Through this entire process, he never let on that anything was wrong. In fact, he told me twice that we were good! Just last week we talked about me going dancing with one of my male friends, and he wasn't thrilled about it so I didn't go. But...when he called today, he said he's been thinking about this for a while now.
So...why didn't he want me to go dancing with Don? Why did he make plans to go to the races with me? Why did he agree to go to my class reunion? Why did he make plans with me to go to the wedding? Why did he make plans to come to my house on Thursday? Why did he tell me two times that we were good? Why in the world did he kiss me last night?
There are so many thoughts going through my head! Now the tears have started to flow again so I'm going to go do dishes in hope that it'll get my mind off him.
I'd really appreciate your prayers! I'm going to cling to my verse, Jeremiah 29:11, knowing that He has a plan for me & that He doesn't intend for me to be hurt (although it's hard to think about now as I'm hurting so bad). But...I know that God is in control, and with Him (and the support of my family & friends), I'll make it through. This too shall pass!
When I looked to see who was calling, I was pleased to see it was Matt calling me from work. I answered & asked how his day was going. He told me it was going fine, and then he proceeded to tell me that he didn't think things were going to work out between us. Imagine my shock & surprise! I literally didn't do anything but continue to say "okay". I didn't know what to say! If I had made guesses as to what was coming out of his mouth, I would never have guessed those words.
He said that I've been a very good friend over the past few months (not what I wanted to hear...and if he does everything with his "friends" that he's done with me the past few months...I've really been missing out on my friendships with the opposite sex). He also said that I have some great qualities & would make someone a great wife, but he just didn't think I was the one for him.
The crazy thing for me is that we were just together last night. He was a bit quite so I even asked him if everything was alright. He said that it was, and so I asked specifically if everything was alright with us. He once again said that it was. We even made plans for us to spend the evening together on Thursday, and we talked about some future plans we've made (I had tickets for us to go see a Detroit Tigers game on the Sunday I get back from North Carolina, we bought tickets to go to the drag races with Don & Sharon - friends from Sidney, we made reservations for my 15 year class reunion, and we talked about a wedding we were going to go to on Sept. 1). Through this entire process, he never let on that anything was wrong. In fact, he told me twice that we were good! Just last week we talked about me going dancing with one of my male friends, and he wasn't thrilled about it so I didn't go. But...when he called today, he said he's been thinking about this for a while now.
So...why didn't he want me to go dancing with Don? Why did he make plans to go to the races with me? Why did he agree to go to my class reunion? Why did he make plans with me to go to the wedding? Why did he make plans to come to my house on Thursday? Why did he tell me two times that we were good? Why in the world did he kiss me last night?
There are so many thoughts going through my head! Now the tears have started to flow again so I'm going to go do dishes in hope that it'll get my mind off him.
I'd really appreciate your prayers! I'm going to cling to my verse, Jeremiah 29:11, knowing that He has a plan for me & that He doesn't intend for me to be hurt (although it's hard to think about now as I'm hurting so bad). But...I know that God is in control, and with Him (and the support of my family & friends), I'll make it through. This too shall pass!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Finally...A Picture
I finally got a picture of Matt & I together. For those of you who were skeptical...I have proof! :-) The picture above was taken this past weekend while we were putt-putting with our cell group. Isn't he cute? :-)
Monday, June 25, 2007
Another Softball Update
Tonight's game was a bit embarrassing. Our bats were on fire, and the poor team we were playing couldn't seem to do anything right. They really had a tough night, and I felt sorry for them!
Jeff, our coach, put us subs in at the bottom of the 3rd inning (we usually sub in during the bottom of the 4th) because he knew the game would get called. I took the field for the bottom of the 3rd & the bottom of the 4th, and then the game was called. I didn't even get to hit tonight! :-( Oh, well! At least it was a victory for us. :-)
Jeff, our coach, put us subs in at the bottom of the 3rd inning (we usually sub in during the bottom of the 4th) because he knew the game would get called. I took the field for the bottom of the 3rd & the bottom of the 4th, and then the game was called. I didn't even get to hit tonight! :-( Oh, well! At least it was a victory for us. :-)
Our Golf Adventure
So...here's a story you'll all get a kick out of. Traci & I had a good laugh over this today.
M.O.D. Squad (our cell group from church) went putt-putting yesterday. While we were there, Traci mentioned that her & I should go golfing again this summer. We haven't been golfing together in 2 years. So...we decided to try to do it today. When I got home from putt-putting, I jumped on the internet to look at the local courses (I'd heard the course we typically go to - Collins Park - had gone up in price so I was looking to see if there was anything cheaper). I found a couple of par 3 courses in Michigan that were less than $15, but they were a half hour away. Then...I found "it"!
What is "it" you may ask? "It" is the Bay View Retirees Golf Club. On the internet, it was listed as a public course that you could play for $8 (which included a cart). I was a bit leery...especially given the name so I called this morning when I got up. A very nice man answered the phone & explained that it was indeed a public course that it was open to anyone. He also told me that it was only $4 to play the course if we wanted to walk it. My first thought was that you get what you pay for, but I figured I hadn't been out golfing in over a year & a half so who cared what the course looked like...at least I'd get out & swing my clubs.
So...I went to pick Traci up & off we went. We followed the directions directly to the course. Our first sign that something wasn't quite right...we were by far the youngest people in the parking lot. We started to laugh & make some jokes at this point. Traci suggested we go in & pay before we unloaded anything (I'm so glad she did). As we entered the office, we met four older gentlemen who looked at us quite oddly...sign #2. After they stared a bit, they asked if they could help us. I explained that we wanted to play a round of 9, and the gentleman behind the counter (turned out to be the one I had talked to earlier in the morning) asked if we were 50...sign #3. Come to find out, it is a public course that is only $4 to play, but you must be 50 in order to golf on the course (he forgot to mention that when I called earlier).
They began to call local courses for us trying to find out prices, and they began to take advantage of the fact that "two pretty young girls" (as they called us) were standing in their office. Every time someone came in to pay, a comment would be made about the "nice scenery" or the "pleasant surprise". At that point, our four friends would introduce us as their new caddies. :-) They had so much fun with it, and Traci & I couldn't stop laughing.
So...we decided to go to Collins Park and bid them farewell. As we were walking out the door, they said they looked forward to seeing us when we were 50. I told them it would only be a few years. :-)
On a side note, we did find out that Collins Park runs a special every Monday...9 holes of golf & a cart for $12. We plan on starting a new tradition when I get back from vacation. Ahhh...the joys of being a teacher! :-)
M.O.D. Squad (our cell group from church) went putt-putting yesterday. While we were there, Traci mentioned that her & I should go golfing again this summer. We haven't been golfing together in 2 years. So...we decided to try to do it today. When I got home from putt-putting, I jumped on the internet to look at the local courses (I'd heard the course we typically go to - Collins Park - had gone up in price so I was looking to see if there was anything cheaper). I found a couple of par 3 courses in Michigan that were less than $15, but they were a half hour away. Then...I found "it"!
What is "it" you may ask? "It" is the Bay View Retirees Golf Club. On the internet, it was listed as a public course that you could play for $8 (which included a cart). I was a bit leery...especially given the name so I called this morning when I got up. A very nice man answered the phone & explained that it was indeed a public course that it was open to anyone. He also told me that it was only $4 to play the course if we wanted to walk it. My first thought was that you get what you pay for, but I figured I hadn't been out golfing in over a year & a half so who cared what the course looked like...at least I'd get out & swing my clubs.
So...I went to pick Traci up & off we went. We followed the directions directly to the course. Our first sign that something wasn't quite right...we were by far the youngest people in the parking lot. We started to laugh & make some jokes at this point. Traci suggested we go in & pay before we unloaded anything (I'm so glad she did). As we entered the office, we met four older gentlemen who looked at us quite oddly...sign #2. After they stared a bit, they asked if they could help us. I explained that we wanted to play a round of 9, and the gentleman behind the counter (turned out to be the one I had talked to earlier in the morning) asked if we were 50...sign #3. Come to find out, it is a public course that is only $4 to play, but you must be 50 in order to golf on the course (he forgot to mention that when I called earlier).
They began to call local courses for us trying to find out prices, and they began to take advantage of the fact that "two pretty young girls" (as they called us) were standing in their office. Every time someone came in to pay, a comment would be made about the "nice scenery" or the "pleasant surprise". At that point, our four friends would introduce us as their new caddies. :-) They had so much fun with it, and Traci & I couldn't stop laughing.
So...we decided to go to Collins Park and bid them farewell. As we were walking out the door, they said they looked forward to seeing us when we were 50. I told them it would only be a few years. :-)
On a side note, we did find out that Collins Park runs a special every Monday...9 holes of golf & a cart for $12. We plan on starting a new tradition when I get back from vacation. Ahhh...the joys of being a teacher! :-)
Sunday, June 24, 2007
My thoughts...
I'm having some trouble sleeping tonight because there's a lot going through my head. So...I thought I'd take a minute to blog. You don't have to respond to this or worry about me...I'm just hoping that if I get things out of my head I'll be able to settle down & go to sleep.
Let me start by saying what I do know. I know that...
1. I've been single for most of my 33 years.
2. I don't have much experience with this "relationship" stuff.
3. I'm a very emotional person who tends to wear her heart on her sleeve.
4. I am very analytical - some say I over analyze my life.
5. I love Matt.
6. I can see my future with Matt.
7. My primary love language is quality time.
8. I'm very thankful for friends who will listen to my ramblings.
Now for the confusing things. I don't understand why...
1. It's so hard to transition from being single to being a couple.
2. Relationships are so hard.
3. My emotions get the best of me - even when I try to be rational.
4. I continue to analyze every detail. Why can't I just live life sometimes?
5. I question my love for Matt at times & especially question his love/intentions.
6. Thinking about my future can be so scary.
7. Quality time is such a problem for some.
8. I feel like I'm battling friends for a position of priority.
As I'm typing this, it just suddenly hit me that I've done a lot of thinking about this & have even talked to a couple of friends. But...the one thing I haven't done (and what I should have done from the beginning) is pray. So...I'm going to sign off & go have a chat with God.
Thanks for listening!
Let me start by saying what I do know. I know that...
1. I've been single for most of my 33 years.
2. I don't have much experience with this "relationship" stuff.
3. I'm a very emotional person who tends to wear her heart on her sleeve.
4. I am very analytical - some say I over analyze my life.
5. I love Matt.
6. I can see my future with Matt.
7. My primary love language is quality time.
8. I'm very thankful for friends who will listen to my ramblings.
Now for the confusing things. I don't understand why...
1. It's so hard to transition from being single to being a couple.
2. Relationships are so hard.
3. My emotions get the best of me - even when I try to be rational.
4. I continue to analyze every detail. Why can't I just live life sometimes?
5. I question my love for Matt at times & especially question his love/intentions.
6. Thinking about my future can be so scary.
7. Quality time is such a problem for some.
8. I feel like I'm battling friends for a position of priority.
As I'm typing this, it just suddenly hit me that I've done a lot of thinking about this & have even talked to a couple of friends. But...the one thing I haven't done (and what I should have done from the beginning) is pray. So...I'm going to sign off & go have a chat with God.
Thanks for listening!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Hanging Out with SoloCon Friends
On Thursday, I drove to Indianapolis to stay with two of my friends from SoloCon, Cindy & Debbie. I haven't had a chance to see them since last August so it was so good to spend some time with them. We went shopping, talked alot (not a surprise to anyone who knows me well), and ate at El Rodeo's twice (not a surprise to anyone who knows Cindy & Debbie).
The time went by really fast, but it was a great weekend! They are going to try & come up here for a visit the next time. I hope it works out!
The time went by really fast, but it was a great weekend! They are going to try & come up here for a visit the next time. I hope it works out!
She's Finally Here!
Abigail Grace Daves, my new niece, arrived yesterday, June 22nd, weighing in at 8 lbs. 13 oz. She was 20 1/2 inches long, and as you can see from the picture above, she has a head full of dark hair.
Everyone is doing well, but they are very tired. I'm really looking forward to my visit down south (in just a little over a week) so I can finally meet her!
I love you, Abra Cadabra! :-)
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