Mid 30's...Give or take 20 years!

If you have to pee, you might want to go before you read this post. If you don't go....I'm not responsible for any puddle that results from the laughter this might bring!

So...let me tell you a little story about the past week or so of my life. A guy I know from church & work closely with in ministries approached me a few weeks ago to see if I'd be interested in meeting a single guy (from here on out, I'll be referring to him as "single guy" in order to avoid confusion & I will not use names to protect the innocent :-) ). This guy had started coming to his small group on Sunday evenings, and he thought we'd be a good match. He didn't want me to feel pressured but thought it may be worth a try. He explained that "single guy" had impressed him with his knowledge of the Bible and seemed to be a very Godly man. He thought "single guy" was probably in his mid to late 30's, and he thought "single guy" was fairly good looking. At this point, I was no longer thinking about "single guy" because I was too caught up in the fact that this guy appeared to be pretty nervous approaching me about this proposition. In the years I've know him & worked with him, I've never seen him nervous. It actually cracked me up! He was worried about this being uncomfortable for me & "single guy" so he hadn't said anything to anyone. At this point, the only people that new about this were him & me. I agreed to meet "single guy" because I wasn't out anything if I did and it didn't go well. No big deal...right?

It was decided that I would take a night off from my small group (a group I lead) to go and "observe" his group (that was my cover so it wouldn't be too obvious). So...it all happened two Sundays ago. Let me describe the night for you....

I was to go to his small group, which started at 6 p.m., to "observe" (a.k.a. meet "single guy") for the night. He told me the address for the house they were meeting at was in the bulletin. I was familiar with the road but didn't know the exact house address. So...as I was driving & on my way there, I looked in the bulletin to find the house address. Much to my surprise I realized that they were not having a Bible study that night, but instead they were having a game night & pizza party. This was my first sign that something was up.

My second sign came as I entered the house. The small group (now classified as a party) was being held at the house of our school nurse, but remember that no one was supposed to know what was happening. As I entered the house, she greeted me & mentioned that she was glad I could come. She didn't seem surprised at all! I found this a bit strange, but hung up my coat & moved into the kitchen where others were gathering. At this point, several women from church approached me. One wanted to know if I was nervous. Another said that "he" wasn't here yet (I thought she was talking about the matchmaker), but then she said she couldn't wait until we met. At this point I realized that something was definitely up! I asked how they knew, and they just giggled. Apparently the matchmaker became a bit nervous about his choice the previous Sunday. So after "single guy" left, matchmaker approached a few of the ladies to see what they thought. This turned into the rest of the group discussing the set up. By the time I arrived on Sunday night, everyone but "single guy" knew why I was there!

Throughout the night, my name was mentioned more than I can explain to you. I began to get tired of hearing my own name! :-) Groups of people would also gather several feet behind "single guy's" back to talk about how things were going. I was asked several times what I thought. It was a bit uncomfortable, but not for long. After a bit, I couldn't do anything but laugh about it. Sitting there and watching the whole thing unfold was hysterical! The night ended with a friend of "single guy" going up to him to talk about me, and a few women coming to me to see if I'd be interested in going out on a group date. I felt like I was back in high school! That's where the night ended.

Now...fast forward to this week (a week and a half later). I found out that "single guy" is not in his mid to late 30's as was originally thought. "Single guy" is actually 54 and will be turning 55 in the near future (that's 22 years older than me if you're counting). When I told my mom about this, she told me that age was only a number, and seeing as how I can retire at an early age being a teacher, him & I could retire about the same time. Leave it to my mom to look at the bright side of things. :-) I've also found out that the men wanted me to know I looked hot that night. They think I should always wear my hair straight like I did that day, and...I found out that "single guy" thought I was 20! There was a group of teens at the party that night, and he thought I was there with them.

So...I don't know what will become of the group date, but I've been told that a couple of people in the group are now trying to think of people they can set me up with. What a hoot! My life is never dull & boring!

Believing God

I started a Bible study last night with a group of women from church. We are doing Beth Moore's study entitled "Believing God". I'm really looking forward to the next several weeks as we work through the course & workbook. I've had some friends who've done the study & really enjoyed it, and I'm hoping I get as much from it as they did.

My primary goal for signing up was to get back in the habit of doing daily devotions. This is something I've been struggling with. I know I need to do it (and my day goes so much better when I'm faithfully doing my devotions), but I continue to let busyness (and procrastination) lead to excuses why I don't do them. So...I'm on a new journey with God and am looking forward to where it'll lead.

Dreams...

Below is an excerpt from an article I received from Christianity Today (they put out a newsletter for singles). It primarily deals with being single and the longings we have as females, but it also made me think of friends who are struggling to conceive. I'm not the only one who hasn't seen my dreams come true. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

I realize I'm not the only one whose dreams have been seriously delayed. I understand there are things far more threatening and frightening and sad than being without a husband and children. But this has long been my desire, and so it is the place from which I can truthfully speak. I know others who have had the very things I long for, then seen them wrenched away by tragedy or selfishness or simple neglect. I know that some pray for cancer to be gone, or for still limbs to stretch and move, or for the hardened heart of another to melt, or to hear that they're finally forgiven. My heart goes out to them. I want them to keep on hoping too. I do.

It would be easier to let hope quietly die, but I don't. I choose to keep the faith because, in a way I can't completely fathom, I know that faith is the truest substructure of the things for which we hope—the real, actual foundation and substance of the heart's fiercest longing. It's the required "deposit" that must precede any future blessing. But even though I accept that an unbreakable connection exists between believing and receiving, it's easier for me to believe for another's hope than for my own.

On a recent trip, I wrote these words in my own journal and did not leave them behind:

How is it possible to long for something so deeply and so desperately and never see it? Haven't I trusted in You, God, or have I only not trusted in me? Is the desire of my heart from You? And if so—haven't You promised to give it when I delight myself in You? And haven't I done that? Then what? When? How? I have waited on You alone. I want You, and no one else, to give me my desire of a husband and a family.


Did Sarah ever remind You of her age? This Saturday, Lord God, is my birthday. Another year and my desire is the same as it has ever been. All my distractions and old allegiances are gone. Killed. Severed. I am no one's now but Yours.

I need You to give me the desires of my heart. I cannot get them for myself, by myself. Help me to look expectantly to the future You are forging for me, even now. To believe Your good loving-kindness exists for me and not just for others. Help me to count on You, to hope in You with confident assurance. Please. It's midnight, and I'm here: begging for my bread before the only one who can give it. Prepare a banquet for me, just because You are good. Please God, would You do that for me?

Maybe the same kind of love (a mother-love or wife-love) is there for the spending whether it's focused on one man, or four children, or a roomful of old friends, or a stranger. Maybe it's not lost in the spending, either, but strengthened and sharpened and multiplied.

Here's the link to the complete article if you'd like to read it:
www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/2007/mind0221.html

Thoughts...

I've come to the conclusion that I'm just plain clueless when it comes to men! Trying to learn from past mistakes & misconceptions, I've tried over the past few years to focus on friendship (I didn't want to read anything into what guys said or did). However, as I look back on situations, it seems as though I may have screwed up several possibilities - and may still be in the same pattern today (Ralph - don't panic! I'm not talking about you. We're still friends - nothing more or nothing less. :-) However, you may want to watch the time on those phone calls! LOL!).

I feel as though it's a catch 22...if I start to think a guy is interested, I end up getting hurt or let down because he's only interested in being friends. But...if I don't allow myself to think about anything other than being friends, I'm told that I didn't take any of the clues that were dropped so he moved on. I just wish there was a flow chart to follow. I could answer the question and then know what to do based on the response. Unfortunately this flow chart does not exist, and I appear to be completely naive.

Do I want to get married and have a family? I would love to! I have the desire to be a wife and mother, and I don't think I'd have that desire if it wasn't part of God's plan. So...I try to remain patient. But am I missing that special someone because I'm afraid to take a risk?

I read books about being single and about the differences between males & females. For a moment, things start to come into focus, but then something comes along and the thoughts start spiralling in my head.

At this point in my life, I have to stay positive and enjoy where I'm at! If I let the ball of confusing thoughts take control of my head I'll be a basket case. Oh, if only it were as easy as it was for Adam & Eve - God would take of rib from "Mr. Right" & make me to be his partner.

Unexpected Visit

When I left mom & dad's after Christmas vacation, I didn't think I'd get to see them until Easter. Much to my surprise, I found out that my dad was coming to Ohio on business this week. Being the great dad that he is he came and took me out for supper tonight, and we were able to spend a few hours together. It was sooooo great to see him! It's hard being so far away from my family, but I think that we are all where God wants us to be right now. So I will continue to enjoy my visits to North Carolina (compliments of my teacher schedule) and treasure any extra visits I get to have with them.

Glove Trauma - Yet Again!

When I created this blog, I wasn't expecting to only write about gloves, but I'm so glad I've been able to share this story with so many people. :-) I was just talking with my aunt tonight, and she said that when she read my blog she was just happy to know that things like this happen to other people. I'm so glad to hear that my trauma & difficulties make her feel better! :-)

On to the reason for this entry. This morning I cut the tags to my new hat, scarf & glove set and began to prepare to leave. I put on my scarf. I then decided I didn't need the hat today because it was supposed to be a little warmer. And...last but not least...I put on my new gloves. My they looked nice with my winter dress coat. As I'm driving to school admiring my new gloves, something on the side of my middle finger caught my eye. You won't believe what it was! A HOLE! Yes...there's a hole in my new gloves that took me three days & over 90 mins. of shopping to purchase. AHHHHH! I can't take anymore! :-)

So...tomorrow will find me at K-Mart (for the third time in four days) to return this set. If you hear a loud scream of frustration between 4:30 & 4:45 p.m., don't fret. It'll be me screaming because yet another store is now sold out of winter accessories. Have I told you lately how much I love winter & the cold weather?

The Glove Ordeal - Part 2

After having my little pity party yesterday, I went to Wal-Mart to buy gloves this afternoon. They too were 75% off but were entirely sold out. So...I just returned home with the original set I picked up at K-Mart yesterday (the set that started this whole saga). Know what? I'm not sure I like them anymore, but seeing as I've been to nearly every store, I decided it was best to have warm hands. :-)

The 90 Minute Glove Ordeal

I recently bought a new coat and was in need of gloves to match (although I love my OSU red gloves...they didn't go so well with my off white dress coat). I began my search at K-Mart and found a set I liked. I was even more excited to find that they were 50% off! However, I forgot to go to the bank and didn't have enough cash with me. So...I decided to go to the bank on my way home and stop at Value City. Surely they would have something.

I drove through the ATM to get cash and then went looking at Value City where I found a set I even liked better than the set at K-Mart. The only problem was that they were not on sale. I spoke to a team member to see if I could get them at a reduced price and was quickly told they weren't on sale. When she asked if I wanted them, I told her I did, but I couldn't justify paying full price when I could go to K-Mart and get it for 50% off. This didn't bother her near as much as it bothered me.

So...I left Value City without gloves (it's now been 60 mins.). As I was pulling out of the parking lot, I decided to go to Meijer and give them a try. I was sure they would have the winter things on sale. Guess what?!? They were on sale...75% off. Better than K-Mart! WooHoo!

Oh, but wait! The story's not over. Meijer is now completely sold out of gloves, mittens, or anything resembling them. So...90 mins. later...refusing to drive back to K-Mart...I'm sitting at home with my dress coat and a great pair of OSU gloves. :-)

My Maiden Voyage

Well...I'm taking the big step. I've been reading the blogs of several friends and thinking to myself that it would be fun. But what do I have to say? To tell you the truth...I'm not really sure, but we'll find out! :-) The only thing I can promise is that this will be me (and that's a little scary).